The importance of being Wagyu

This ad used to run in the Jakarta Post all the time. I like to imagine waiters in black tie bringing a DNA certificate to the table on a platter, to be examined discerningly like an expensive bottle of wine. "Ah yes, descended from Bessie -- her marbling was legendary."

But do people really want to know about the DNA of the steak they're about to eat? Personally, I'd rather not think about its mom and dad; I feel guilty enough as it is.

Besides, if they're going to show me test results, there's stuff I'd much rather see than DNA. A nice clean report card for E. coli and parasites, for example. Better yet, they could bring an iPod to the table and show me video of the kitchen staff washing their hands before making the food. It's not just street food that makes people sick, after all; fancy eateries are guilty too.

Any restaurant that offered the iPod plan would have a line out the door -- I guarantee it. With all the food scares in the US these days, it'd probably be a hit there too.